Omg, what do I get my boyfriend/man-friend/husband/brother?
Please. Stop. Take a long smoke of reality.
Most men are lazy, therefore very easy when it comes to Christmas gifts.
Men research what they want: video games, rifles, and the latest gadget that will try to Bluetooth the most insignificant objects like your toaster.
Everything else: you can’t really go wrong.
While girls are prone to bitch, I can’t imagine a guy opening up a box and saying, “Ugh. I wanted the black wallet with the red trim not the espresso one with the royal blue trim.” That doesn’t happen.
Ladies should see Christmas as a golden opportunity. Using the disguise of a “present,” you can replace all of his fugly things you hate 364 days of the year.
However, put down the ties and socks. Boring. Boring. Boring.
Two days ago, the WSJ article, “Don’t Be a Lousy Gift-Giver,” said that women take the wrong approach and “tend to give everyday things.”
The holidays are a time to give him something special that he would not buy for himself. If he is a bourbon drinker, don’t get him Maker’s Mark. Go to Keife and Co. on Howard Ave. and get him a craft batch.
Here are gifts in NOLA, ranging from $15 to $600 – everything from a black & gold bike, a traveling bar, and a hysterical book that describes the women of Storyville.
Whatever makes him go “Pa rum pum pum pum.”
Token and Icons Bottle Openers – starting at $85 (M. Goldberg)
Token and Icons turns a broken bat into a functional bar tool. These are hard to find. It took two years for M. Goldberg to get a Yankee bat handle.
The Bitter Truth Traveler’s Set - starting at $20 (Keife and Co.)
This is for the guy who hangs at Cure, Sylvain, Cane & Table, etc.
Kentucky Cocktail Set – $600 (Billy Reid)
Coach teamed up with Billy Reid to produce this show-stopper. If you are a spendthrift with a man who hunts or tailgates, this is pretty awesome. In stock at the new Billy Reid store on Magazine.
City Dining Cards – $20 (Keife and Co.)
Perfect for your cash-stripped twenty-something who still thinks he can drink and eat at fancy establishments. The Restaurant Deck gives you a $10 discount at 50 restaurants. The Drink Deck allows you to buy one cocktail and get one free at 50 bars in the city.
The French Quarter Drinking Companion – $22.95 (Octavia Books)
Published this year, the drinking guide will tell you everything from what to wear to what tattoo themes to expect.
The Blue Book of Storyville Women – $14.95 (Octavia Books)
This is HYSTERICAL. Octavia Books found an old copy of a directory of Storyville women and had them reprinted. The language is whitty rather than crude.
The Southern’s Handbook: A Guide to Living the Good Life by Garden & Gun – $27.99 (Historic New Orleans Collection, Scriptura)
Everything from how to wear seersucker to cooking a whole hog. Perfect for any gent.
MVP Pants – $98 (Online at www.mvpants.com)
Whether your boy is a Cannon or Bryant, these locally designed SEC pants scream awesome.
Pure Fix Cycles – starting at $325 (special order at Bicycle World on Jefferson Hwy)
My friend living in Los Angeles turned me onto these lightweight commuter bikes. The black and gold “India” might as well be called the Who Dat, and the glow and the dark “Zulu” just needs an hour of sun during the day in order for you to light up St. Charles Ave.
Superdome Glasses – $40 for a set of 4 (Mignon Faget)
If you are not looking to splurge on your Who Dat, this glassware featuring a panoramic inlay of the Dome will do the trick.
HC Cummerbund – $180 (M. Goldberg)
Black cummerbunds are meh. The Vineyard Vine Fleur-de-Lis one? Too summery for winter events, but I’ll give a pass to the preppy gents out there. Hit up M. Goldberg for more sophisticated black tie accessories.
Cotton & Waxed Bird Hunting Jacket – $495 (Billy Reid)
People keep asking me what I think of Billy Reid. Maybe a little too avant-garde for change-averse New Orleans, but I think it is a breath of fresh air. A unique alternative to the traditional Barbour, this bird-hunting jacket is meant for the guy who is daring enough to step out of the mold. It fits 10 beers for Mardi Gras and comes in black for the emo hunter…
Striped Scarf – $125 (Billy Reid)
I’m so sick of plaid scarves. Go with stripes.
Thanks for the Facebook likes and a special shout-out to my e-mail subscribers. If you like what you see, forward away.
Remember to keep your holiday local and lush (savvy wordsmiths know that lush has multiple meanings…)